Eric, of Logan clan

So, as of recent, I've landed this pest control gig for a local pest control company. Now, aside from the ho-hum Orkin-man deal you'd associate with pest control, our company also does fumigation- if you have bedbugs in your house, you can pack up all your bug-ridden belongings and drop it off at our headquarters where we'll lock it in a gas chamber and pump it full of poison while we treat your homestead. Also within fumigating, we do work for the USDA, fumigating massive freight containers that arrive in our ports from any and everywhere imaginable, as it could be disastrous to the local ecology if say, some non-indigenous slug landed upon our shores and made it's way to our farmlands unimpeded.

Anyway, several weeks ago, the 5th to be exact, a container of someones personal belongings from China arrived which was in dire need of fumigation. We shipped it to our off-site lot to be tarped off and pumped full of poison. During the setup process, installing the tubes that would carry the poison, one of our crew noticed that a lot of the packaging of the contents were oddly damaged, and investigated further. Upon further inspection, he heard strange noises of something shifting about in the back of the container, something large. Naturally he fled the container and consulted with management on how to proceed.

So they transferred it back to our main building to examine further, and it was verified that there was definitely something large and alive inside, perplexing some and just plain terrifying others. Whether it be an undiscovered arboreal snake of the orient, or a living specimen of a mythical Qilin, surely it would be worth more money captured alive. Knowing this, a manager bought a McChicken or something of the like and put it in one of our live-traps for raccoons and left it in there over night.

They arrived the next morning to a strange discovery.

I just happened to be in Seattle near headquarters as this was all transpiring, and headed over to the office on my lunch break to observe this exotic beast. When I showed up, the cage was covered, draped in a blanket- as I approached, I was immediately apprehensive of some Outbreak Monkey scenario unfolding. I pulled the blanket back with haste, and there was a loudly meowing, purring kitty with an orange moustachio.

By the time I’d gotten there, the animal shelter had already dispatched their cronies to come retrieve this creature, and they did. As much as I would’ve liked to of snatched the cage and retreat to my hovel, the beast was in much need of professional care, having narrowly surviving a death-chamber preceded by a 19 day stint, nourished on nothing but condensation water and cardboard- also a quarantine was called for as the creature had traveled overseas, so that the aforementioned Outbreak Monkey scenario wouldn't come to fruition.

So, a few weeks later, my buddy from the company who’d actually talked to the animal shelter for me and myself were summoned to formally fill out applications for adoption of this Dickensian ragamuffin. We go in, and after about a half hour of talking to us, conversing wildly about feline tshirts, the kitten imparative to rid the world of lasers, and sharing congenial laughs over cat-oriented dreams we've all recently had, it was finely determined- I was ready to be a mother. Pimp-walking stride, we leave, cat carrier in hand.

It’s been a couple weeks in his new-found home, and he’s already got full run of the place.

Here, he explores the worldy perimeters of his new dojo-