Eric, of Logan clan

a parable

2011-06-24T23:27:00.000-07:00

So, as of recent, I've landed this pest control gig for a local pest control company. Now, aside from the ho-hum Orkin-man deal you'd associate with pest control, our company also does fumigation- if you have bedbugs in your house, you can pack up all your bug-ridden belongings and drop it off at our headquarters where we'll lock it in a gas chamber and pump it full of poison while we treat your homestead. Also within fumigating, we do work for the USDA, fumigating massive freight containers that arrive in our ports from any and everywhere imaginable, as it could be disastrous to the local ecology if say, some non-indigenous slug landed upon our shores and made it's way to our farmlands unimpeded.

Anyway, several weeks ago, the 5th to be exact, a container of someones personal belongings from China arrived which was in dire need of fumigation. We shipped it to our off-site lot to be tarped off and pumped full of poison. During the setup process, installing the tubes that would carry the poison, one of our crew noticed that a lot of the packaging of the contents were oddly damaged, and investigated further. Upon further inspection, he heard strange noises of something shifting about in the back of the container, something large. Naturally he fled the container and consulted with management on how to proceed.

So they transferred it back to our main building to examine further, and it was verified that there was definitely something large and alive inside, perplexing some and just plain terrifying others. Whether it be an undiscovered arboreal snake of the orient, or a living specimen of a mythical Qilin, surely it would be worth more money captured alive. Knowing this, a manager bought a McChicken or something of the like and put it in one of our live-traps for raccoons and left it in there over night.

They arrived the next morning to a strange discovery.

I just happened to be in Seattle near headquarters as this was all transpiring, and headed over to the office on my lunch break to observe this exotic beast. When I showed up, the cage was covered, draped in a blanket- as I approached, I was immediately apprehensive of some Outbreak Monkey scenario unfolding. I pulled the blanket back with haste, and there was a loudly meowing, purring kitty with an orange moustachio.

By the time I’d gotten there, the animal shelter had already dispatched their cronies to come retrieve this creature, and they did. As much as I would’ve liked to of snatched the cage and retreat to my hovel, the beast was in much need of professional care, having narrowly surviving a death-chamber preceded by a 19 day stint, nourished on nothing but condensation water and cardboard- also a quarantine was called for as the creature had traveled overseas, so that the aforementioned Outbreak Monkey scenario wouldn't come to fruition.

So, a few weeks later, my buddy from the company who’d actually talked to the animal shelter for me and myself were summoned to formally fill out applications for adoption of this Dickensian ragamuffin. We go in, and after about a half hour of talking to us, conversing wildly about feline tshirts, the kitten imparative to rid the world of lasers, and sharing congenial laughs over cat-oriented dreams we've all recently had, it was finely determined- I was ready to be a mother. Pimp-walking stride, we leave, cat carrier in hand.

It’s been a couple weeks in his new-found home, and he’s already got full run of the place.

Here, he explores the worldy perimeters of his new dojo-

The moustache is called into question, and it is wicked-

And at last, exploring of all boyish persuits, the one of which, dear reader, we are all dually familiar-

-fin.

this has sparked the revival

2011-05-02T18:45:00.000-07:00

http://www.hulu.com/embed/O_IoPG5mLx0X5ugQW4vWig]Hulu - Beastie Boys: Fight for Your Right (Revisited)

double-rainbows

2010-07-16T11:36:00.000-07:00

what do they mean?

Because your dog is easy to kill

2010-06-27T09:58:00.000-07:00

oh, Jean Luc

2010-02-22T20:38:00.001-08:00

GWAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

2010-01-12T05:21:00.001-08:00

open your mind to me

2010-01-12T05:18:00.000-08:00

you laugh, you lose

2009-12-31T13:39:00.001-08:00

suck my butt (suck my butt)

2009-12-26T11:42:00.001-08:00

bad santa(s)

2009-12-10T14:56:00.000-08:00

http://www.sketchysantas.com/

I once ran a soup kitchen...

2009-12-09T13:38:00.001-08:00

Gandaaaaaaalf!

2009-11-30T19:25:00.000-08:00

Man vs. Toddler

2009-11-29T16:35:00.000-08:00

you decide who wins

...

2009-11-23T17:48:00.001-08:00

auto-tuning comes through in the clutch, yet again

2009-11-15T18:19:00.000-08:00

Auto-tuning makes everything good

2009-11-04T21:35:00.001-08:00

yes

2009-11-01T20:01:00.000-08:00

be very weary of toilet-men

tha illest emcee battle ever

2009-10-29T05:06:00.000-07:00

who you think won?

wait... what?

2009-10-29T05:04:00.000-07:00

http://vodpod.com/watch/2003137-mad-creepy-hippie-guy-gets-his-own-show-teaching-kids-yoga-would-you-allow-this-guy-to-teach-your-kids

if I ever wear a tall-t...

2009-10-08T13:24:00.000-07:00

photoshopping courtesy of sfblah of the slap messageboards

i love that chicken from popeyes...

2009-09-19T20:46:00.000-07:00

Tried and true...

2009-08-20T16:39:00.000-07:00

the reason Dave Waite isn't big on drinking

2009-08-14T23:03:00.001-07:00

you can only do this so many times before putting down the bottle

Hey, Girl

2009-08-04T23:48:00.000-07:00

go here fur laffs
http://fuckyeahryangosling.tumblr.com/

don't click this link

2009-07-30T11:49:00.000-07:00

unless you're 18 or over

http://img33.imageshack.us/img33/5204/powerfulq.gif

this gem discovered by kilgore

this, is bliss

2009-07-20T23:23:00.001-07:00

first presented to me by Lurkenstock on Slap msgb

So...

2009-07-15T13:13:00.000-07:00

anyone else ever 'google image' their own name?

ever come up with anything like this?

Help the police!

2009-07-02T14:28:00.000-07:00

ah man

2009-06-19T14:42:00.000-07:00

So yesterday from my kitchen window, I spotted a blindingly bright red shiny thing across the street on the hillside opposite to my house. I was very much so "what the fuck'd" out, but I couldn't pay this thing any more attention as Ilona and I needed to run some errands. We head out the front door and I begin to stare at the thing some more.

I was so distracted that I thought I was at the last stair when I was really 3 from it (out of a possible 5 steps) and I fucking fell down my stairs, all for what turned out to be a boyz 2 men cd.

Promotional tool

2009-06-16T05:21:00.000-07:00

that's what I am.

I'll see you when the roses bloom again

2009-05-13T12:12:00.000-07:00

Just thought I'd leave for California on an epic note. See everyone when I return. Expect a mega-post including maaaaad stuff.

Goodbye, my friends.

Say, how much meat is on your drumsticks? really? are you sitting down?.

2009-05-10T01:12:00.000-07:00

youtube "shreds", and find a band you hate

2009-05-10T01:02:00.000-07:00

a thought

2009-05-08T04:34:00.001-07:00

Anything the average person does in their day-to-day lives would be INFINATELY creepier if they did it while biting their bottom lip.

Think about it.

vince is straight killin' it

2009-05-04T16:56:00.000-07:00

hahah, oh my god

2009-05-03T12:37:00.000-07:00

mmmmmmmmm

2009-05-01T05:06:00.000-07:00

pandemic' never tasted so good!

god you're awful

2009-04-30T03:59:00.001-07:00

your weight in properly operated vx1000's won't make people take you seriously

somebody partied with the pilot from Airplane!

2009-04-30T03:39:00.000-07:00

o hai

2009-04-29T21:06:00.000-07:00

I has a blog now